Pairings
by Ryuuko1
Summary: This is a challenge I issued to myself on Livejournal. I offered to attempt write any pairing. They range from het to gay to threesomes...what I'm posting here is not NC17, though. enjoy the crack!
1. NarutoSasukeSakura

"Neeeeeeeee, Sakura-chan."

Sakura looked away from filing the last of her reports at the newly-inducted Hokage, and restrained a sigh.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Ummm...if you...like...a person...how do you, errr..."

Sakura was surprised. Naruto was usually gung-ho, figure-it-out-yourself-or-die-trying. The fact that he was asking for her help hadn't happened since that first exercise in chakra control with Kakashi-sensei. It also bade ill. For her, at least.

"How do you tell them?" she finished for Naruto.

"Yeah."

Sakura paused for a long moment, tapping one finger on her chin.

"Well, it depends on the person."

"Oh."

Sakura looked over at Naruto, unnerved by the defeat in his voice.

"What, you thought there was a generic way of doing things?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, there's a generic way of doing ninjutsu, and taijutsu, and genjutsu..."

"Naruto, relationships aren't ninja techniques."

The Hokage flopped down on his chair, limbs askew, and sighed.

"I know, I _know_. Kinda."

Sakura didn't believe him.

"It's just that they're...so hard to figure out."

"Ah."

Naruto was avoiding using gender-specific words. That _also_ bade ill for Sakura. They could be talking about _anyone_.

"How so?"

Naruto paused, thinking, trying to find the best way to phrase it. His shoulders slumped, and he ran a hand through his spiky hair, pushing the Hokage hat off onto the floor. "It's hard to describe. There's just so many...walls I hit every time. And I have no clue how they feel about me, if they see me as anything other than, well, Naruto."

"And this is a bad thing? Seeing you as being Naruto?"

"Very much. After all, they don't have a particularly high opinion of me."

That ruled out Hinata. And herself, of course. It wouldn't be Ino either. She knew that most of the girls had their opinions of Naruto changed once he had begun to grow up, and had changed even more drastically when he became Hokage. Of course there would be one or two that would disapprove of him, but no-one in their generation was really averse to Naruto's clumsy charm. So, it was either someone she didn't know, or the person Naruto wanted was male.

"Naruto."

Naruto looked up and over at her. "Yeah, Sakura-chan?"

"Is this person male or female?"

Naruto balked at her question, and looked away, and murmured something.

"Say that again?"

"Male! Okay?" Naruto was blushing, but it was only barely visible beneath his tan.

Sakura nodded and gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"Thanks, Naruto. That helps a lot, actually."

"Really?"

"Yes. I hate guessing."

Naruto gave Sakura a lop-sided smile. "Alright."

"So, is it someone I know?"

"Definitely."

"Well, at least that narrows it down a little. So, why do you want to woo this person?"

"I've...liked him for some time. You know how I hate being roundabout about things, but...whenever I try to bring up the subject with him, it always ends up falling away, and I haven't managed to do anything about it. It's...frustrating."

Sakura smiled wryly, her sentiments echoed in Naruto's words. "I have the same issue."

"Really!" Naruto was sitting upright in a heartbeat.

Sakura couldn't restrain a chuckle. "Yes, really. I have relationships, too, y'know."

Sakura could see Naruto was about to ask who, but he reigned in that question, and instead asked,

"Male or female?"

"Female."

"Really!"

Sakura couldn't help but smile. "Yes, really."

She was startled by the blatant relief on Naruto's face as he sunk back into his chair. "But...you have the same problem? That there's no right time to talk to the person about stuff?"

"Missions, other people, history, all get in the way in some fashion or another."

"Don't I know it," Naruto grumbled darkly. Sakura was about to say something when a displacement of air and the tiniest puff of smoke harkened the arrival of an ANBU in the Hokage's office.

Naruto immediately perked up.

"Sasuke!"

Sakura was mildly surprised; so that was why she hadn't seen the Uchiha around.

Sasuke looked over at Sakura and Naruto scowled.

"Sasuke, we were Team 7. There's no need to be formal here. Take that damn mask off."

Sasuke stood and took off the feline mask and stood in his familiar cocky pose, and gave Sakura a small smile.

"Sasuke. Are you okay? How'd the mission go?" Naruto asked in quick succession.

"You sure you want me to talk about it here?"

"Sasuke," there was extreme exasperation in Naruto's voice and posture. "We were a team. In some ways, we still are. You can talk about anything in front of her that you can talk about in front of me."

A wry smirk crept across Sasuke's face, but before he could begin, Naruto cut in.

"You didn't answer my first question. Are you okay?"

"I'm unharmed, if that's what you're asking."

"Good. Now, the mission...?"

Sakura watched the interaction with some amusement, observing as it fluctuated between informal and formal, between Hokage and ANBU to two friends/rivals. It was an intricate dance, and their interactions gave her more insight into each man than she had gotten before.

The fact that they were now effectively ignoring her was helpful.

Well, at least she now knew who Naruto wanted.

Too bad she was as awful at reading Sasuke as Naruto was, if not worse. Naruto had slightly more insight into the raven-haired man's mind than most. Sakura bet it was a dark, twisted, dangerous place, and was actually impressed by Naruto's ability to navigate it with as much skill as he was.

After Sasuke finished reporting, he put his mask back on and disappeared in another puff of smoke. Naruto rubbed his temples, trying to absorb all that Sasuke had said. He wrote everything down quickly in a scrawl that only Naruto could read, before leaning back in the chair.

"You want Sasuke."

Naruto jumped, then turned and looked at Sakura.

"Y-yeah..."

Sakura could see he had forgotten her presence.

"Why?" Sakura asked. This was the question she really wanted to hear the answer to.

"Umm...it's hard to explain."

"You still want him even after all the pain he's put you through? He nearly _killed_ you, Naruto."

"I know, I know. But..."

"That doesn't stop you from wanting him."

"Yeah," Naruto murmured sheepishly. "But he's so damn hard to talk to! Every time I do, we end up in an argument or sparring."

"Well, if that's the case, why don't you just be as blunt as you tend to be?"

"What?" Naruto was surprised.

"I don't think Sasuke expects you to be tactful about anything. So, don't try to be."

Naruto turned that thought over in his mind, and Sakura watched as he weighed it.

'He really has grown up,' Sakura thought with a small smile.

"YOSH! Will do! Thanks, Sakura-chan!" Naruto flashed her one of his sunniest smiles, and jumped out the window, heading over to Sasuke's residence.

Sakura watched him go, and couldn't help but chuckle. She didn't know how valuable her advice had been, but it had given Naruto hope. She's know by tomorrow how successful Naruto was.

---

Naruto didn't bother knocking; why should he? Sasuke could feel him coming from a whiles away, and he was Hokage, so he didn't have to explain anything to anyone.

Mostly. Except to Sakura, Tsuande and Iruka. Never Sasuke though.

Naruto swung through a random window...

And landed right on top of Sasuke.

"Dobe!" Sasuke squeezed out of air-deprived lungs.

Naruto simply grinned at him and rested more of his weight on Sasuke, grabbing Sasuke's wrists and pinning them to the floor.

"Shut up,"he growled.

"What're you...?"

Sasuke wasn't allowed the leisure of finishing his sentence, since he found that his lips were quite occupied. After a long moment, Naruto pulled back, and grinned at a slightly dazed Sasuke.

"I like you, even if you are an asshole, Sasuke."

Naruto was vaguely unnerved by the calculating look in Sasuke's eyes, and pleasantly surprised when he was drawn roughly down into another kiss.

Who said seduction had to be subtle?

---

Apparently her advice had gone over well, Sakura decided when the Hokage was a little more chipper than usual, though only people who had known him for a long time would be able to tell. Sakura was actually fairly happy for him; with his life as awful as it had been, he deserved _some_ success in personal relations. She was happy for him.

Sakura smiled wryly as she finished binding the wounds on another patient, and left the room, not allowing her sadness to show. Her advice wouldn't serve her so well in _her_ pursuit. At least, she didn't think it would.

But, then again, there were many forms of seduction...


	2. ItachiNaruto

Itachi stood before the angry Kyuubi carrier, face emotionless, seemingly unconcerned over the possible doom standing before him.

"Uzumki Naruto. Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi."

Even though Naruto hated to admit it, Sasuke's older brother's voice gave him the chills. In both a good and bad way. Itachi's voice was flat, cold, devoid of most emotions, but at the same time is flowed around the senses, teasing them, caressing the ears. It was the most dangerous sound Naruto had ever heard in his life. Couple that with the fact that Itachi's eyes were as dangerous as his voice was beautiful, and you came up with a fatal combination. Soothed and destroyed in the same moment.

And somehow, he had managed to come across the man, alone.

Itachi had hurt Sasuke. Repeatedly. He had tortured Kakashi-sensei. He had escaped Ero-sennin. He had tried to capture him more than once, and Naruto knew that Itachi meant him ill.

Damn him for being an older, somehow more attractive, version of Sasuke. For it seemed that no matter how many times Naruto told himself that this person before him _was not Sasuke_, it didn't seem to sink in.

And Itachi knew it.

Which was why Naruto found himself pinned against a tree, bound in a genjutsu, and not really minding. Itachi's eyes were mirror images of Sasuke's, the last time he had seen the bastard. Alluring, dangerous, and craving. Both brothers craved _more_. More power, more skill, each to surpass the other; Itachi always staying one step ahead of his younger sibling, just to frustrate him.

Itachi was the reason Sasuke was with Orochimaru.

But it was more than just appearances that had Naruto's head reeling. Itachi _felt_ like Sasuke. Their chakra signatures were nearly identical. So, finding that he was bound in a genjutsu unlike the blatantly painful ones he had been in before, he didn't, rather, couldn't, fight back.

Because this genjutsu was sweet agony.

Itachi had gotten inside his head, and was playing, for Naruto's emotional pain, every moment he had been with Sasuke, every word, every action.

It tore him apart.

Every flicker of emotion. Ever emotional and physical wound was emphasized to the point that when Naruto was finally let out of the genjutsu, he couldn't help but feel all of the Kyuubi's energy drain out of him.

His heart felt like it had been beaten into mush. And with it, all his anger, all his resolve, had fallen to pieces.

Why was he fighting Itachi? Itachi wasn't his enemy. That was Orochimaru. _Orochimaru_ had Sasuke.

"I can bring you to Sasuke," he heard a voice purr in his ear, a voice that made him shiver, made the Kyuubi flare up briefly.

"Liar..." Naruto's voice lacked the normal steely conviction that filled it. He was drained. There was nothing left in his body but a hollow space. Naruto could feel Itachi smile.

"Then you give up? You're giving up on finding the person who is more important than you than anyone else?"

"_Never_."

"No matter who you've been traveling with, you've only come up with dead ends. I can _feel_ Sasuke." A hint of a smirk entered Itachi's voice. "He is my foolish little brother, afterall."

"Liar..."

"I will take you to him. But you must give me something in return."

Naruto's mouth was working, but he found himself unable to say anything, his mind snared in another, non-Mangekyou Sharingan genjutsu.

"Give me your body," Naruto heard Itachi whisper in his ear as he felt Itachi's hand slowly drift down his body.

Naruto's instincts kicked in and his leg lashed out at Itachi, who deftly caught it, and twisted, ending up so that Naruto was on his stomach, leg twisted at an awkward angle that made him grimace.

"T-teme..."

"Isn't that your term for my foolish little brother?"

Brief images of Sasuke flashed through his mind, and Naruto screamed.

Thankfully, at that point, Itachi was forced to let go of Naruto's leg to deflect numerous kunai and shuriken thrown at him. Itachi jumped away, and crouched, his Akatsuki robe splaying out around him like a pool of blood-tinged shadows. Unperturbed, he watched as Kakashi, Sakura, Kurenai, and Shikamaru jumped out of the trees, and Sakura crouched down by Naruto, who was slowly regaining his sense of self.

Itachi looked at all of those assembled before him, and, faster than even Kakashi could follow, Itachi disappeared, leaving only a shattered Naruto behind, and a Sakura desperately trying to help put together a fragile psyche.

"Sa...su...ke..."


	3. ItachiShisui

"Shisui..."

Shisui looked over at his best friend, curious. Itachi had been strangely withdrawn these past days. He wasn't very talkative to begin with, but this was strangely quiet, even for him.

"Yeah, Itachi?"

Itachi turned and looked at him, and Shisui was surprised when Itachi drew him into a hug.

"You are my most important person."

Shisui was startled by both the physical contact and what Itachi had said.

"What?"

Itachi let him go enough so that they could look at each other. "You are my dearest friend, the one I hold most dear."

"Ummm...Itachi..." Shisui was slightly alarmed at the gentle, sad, violating look in Itachi's eyes. He tried to pull away, but found that he was unable to move too far, Itachi's arms still around his waist. The boy was stronger than he looked. Shisui supposed that was another effect of being an ANBU at age 13.

"Shisui, I want to get stronger."

"You want me to help?" It was odd. Itachi was fairly self-sufficient. He didn't ask for anyone's help, ever.

"Yes. I need you to help me get stronger."

"Do you want to train together?"

"There's another way that you can help me get stronger."

"Oh? Besides training? I don't know any jutsu that you don't, I have no prominence in the clan...I doubt that you need any help with getting smarter. So what's this other way?"

The smile that Itachi gave him was alarming. He suddenly found himself falling backwards, Itachi on top of him, binding his hands and arms together as they fell from the high bridge they had been standing on. It was one of their favorite places to hang out; there was no way to tell the time there, and it was mostly hidden. A perfect place for two tween boys to plot mischief.

And, apparently, the perfect place for murder. Shisui found his vision begin to darken as Itachi used a free hand to clamp down on his throat, slowly suffocating him. They hit the water beneath the bridge, and whatever air was left in Shisui's lungs disappeared, and he instinctively breathed in; and only water met his exhausted lungs. He felt himself dying, and managed to mouth one word;

'Why?'

"To become stronger," was the soft, dangerous purr of an answer in Shisui's ear as everything faded into darkness, as he disappeared.

He had thought he would die in a glorious battle, thought he would die for the village, for the sake of a friend in battle.

Here, he _was_ dying for the sake of a friend, but he had never thought he would be murdered by that friend.

Itachi dragged himself and the very dead Shisui out of the water, and shuddered.

There. There was a difference in him, a fluctuation in his chakra that was intoxicating. He had grown in strength. He had achieved the Mangekyou Sharingan. He was now the second in all of Uchiha history to achieve such a level of power. It was...wonderful. He pushed back the damp hair from Shisui's forehead and kissed the dead boy's forehead, feeling as the flesh cooled beneath his lips.

Had it been worth it?

Yes. It had.

Now, to make it seem like suicide.


	4. NarutoSasuke

Sasuke was rarely surprised. In fact, he made it practice to _never_ be surprised. It's something you cultivate when you're an ANBU.

This time, however, he found himself genuinely at a loss for words. Well, except for one word.

"What?"

His lover stood in front of him, looking annoyed.

"You don't believe me!"

"No. I don't."

"Asshole," Naruto growled. "When I finally manage to achieve my dream, all you can say is 'what?'. I knew you were stupid, but I didn't think you were this bad."

"It's just that there are other, more..."

"Don't you dare say I'm not fit for the job," Naruto growled, eyes narrowing.

"You're not the most responsible of people."

"But I care!"

"You try to escape work as much as possible."

"Not like Tsunade baa-chan doesn't do that too."

"You have little patience with people."

"I'm losing what little I have with you!" Naruto snarled, glaring at the Uchiha.

"You see what I mean, then?"

Naruto twitched, then pounced, pinning Sasuke to the ground.

"Can't you say 'Good Job' just once? Or does your stupid Uchiha ego get in the way of you not being an asshole?"

The patented Uchiha smirk crept across Sasuke's face. Sasuke could tell Naruto was gearing up to yell at him some more, but before the blonde could get started, Sasuke reached up and gently caressed Naruto's face.

"I'm proud of you, Naruto." A wry note entered Sasuke's voice. "Though I suppose that I can't call you dobe anymore, can I?"

There was a short silence as Naruto absorbed Sasuke's words. Sasuke watched as a slow, content smile spread across Naruto's face.

"See, it wasn't_ that_ hard to admit that I'm a great ninja."

"I didn't say you were great. I said I was proud of you."

Naruto's smile quickly turned into a scowl. "You can never be nice, can you?"

"Probably."

The scowl turned into a small, chagrined smirk. "That's okay though" The smirk quickly turned mischievous. "I get to order _you_ around, now, Sasuke, and you _have_ to obey me."

Shit. He hadn't thought of that.

Apparently Naruto could read that, and the blonde laughed, before sitting back, allowing Sasuke to sit up partially.

"Sheesh, Neiji's gonna have a _fit_ when he finds out."

"Have you told Kakashi-sensei or Iruka-sensei?"

Naruto shook his head. "No. I wanted to tell you first, since you're more important to me than anyone else."

Sasuke couldn't help but feel slightly flattered, and pulled his blonde lover into a gentle kiss.

"Congratulations. Now, go and tell everyone," he murmured when the kiss was broken. "Though you're going to give me a detailed description of everyone's reactions."

Naruto gave Sasuke a wide grin. "Sure, asshole."

Naruto gave Sasuke one long, lingering kiss before pulling away, standing up and running a hand through his hair, now filled with nervous energy.

Sasuke watched Naruto leave as he sat on the floor, thinking.

This changed many things. The one that filled his mind, much to his chagrin, was the fact that Naruto would have a very private residence, with few neighbors and even fewer people wanting to check on the private activities of their Hokage. That meant a great many good things for him and Naruto.

The Uchiha residence area was lonely. He might just...move in with Naruto. Without telling the man. As a surprise. Because he always loved to see Naruto's face go from confused, to pissed, to pleased in the span of a heartbeat. It always was classic.

After that thought, Sasuke stood, and stretched. He had gotten better at landing on his back with a significant weight on top of him. It didn't sting half as much as it used to. The smirk slowly formed on his face, and Sasuke jumped out the window, heading over to his house. He would wait until the official announcement, then plan when he was going to move in.


	5. NaruSasu crack

"Sasuke. Let. Go."

"No."

"Do it. NOW."

"NO."

"TEME!"

Naruto wrenched his hand away from Sasuke's grasp, and glowered at him.

"What the fuck are you _thinking_, teme!"

"Don't make a scene."

Naruto bristled, as the patented Uchiha smirk spread cross Sasuke's face. Naruto's hands balled into fists and he unconciously slipped into a fighting stance. Sasuke's smirk grew a little wider, and Sakura looked at the two, confused, not having caught the first part of the conversation.

"Naruto, what did you do to Sasuke?"

"WAAAAAAAAHT! What did _I _do to Sasuke? What _he _did is the issue!"

Sasuke leaned back on one heel and regarded Naruto calmly, and Naruto could see the flicker of smug amusement in Sasuke's eyes. Naruto twitched, then stilled when a thought hit him. He saw Sasuke become slightly less arrogant when a smirk of his own crossed Naruto's face.

"At least _my_ name doesn't have _uke_ in it."

Sasuke stared at him, just barely keeping his mouth from hanging open. Before he could come back with a biting retort, Sakura was after the blonde, yelling at him for insinuating such awful things about her Sasuke.

'When did I become hers?' Sasuke thought, amused, and then leisurely followed after the two. Once Sakura was through with Naruto, Sasuke had issues of his own to take up with Naruto. After all, he wasn't _always_ uke.


	6. GaaraSakura

Gaara/Sakura

She never expected it to end like this. Her hands were poised over Gaara's heart, pouring healing chakra into him. Gaara was still uncertain about his skills now that Shukaku was gone, and had a tendency to overestimate his aptitude to take care of threats to his village. He had managed to survive every mistake, save this one. Sakura was fighting to keep him alive, and was winning only marginally.

Gaara was _needed_ now, by his village, and by those who had become his friends. She also, in a way, needed Gaara. To her, he showed how much a person can change when exposed to the idea that there was more to the world than fighting and death, and that people could care for and like him for who he was.

He gave her hope for the redemption of Sasuke.

So she fought for his life, draining herself and making use of every healing technique she knew. She would not let the Kazekage, the friend of Naruto, the inspiration of her hope, die. Not now. Not when she could do something to stop it.

Author: I apologize if this is not what you had in mind. Please excuse any grammar mistakes, or any OOC-ness. I hope you like this little drabble anyway. Thank you for requesting!


	7. HakuHinata

Haku/Hinata

Hinata sighed and leaned against a tree. She bent over slightly and took off one shoe to massage her sore foot.

'These shoes weren't made for walking,' she thought as she looked at the ceremonial, elegant, yet highly uncomfortable shoe in her hand. She bent to replace it, but lost her balance and began to fall.

She was caught by strong, delicate hands and was helped to regain her balance.

"Here, let me help," said a soft, feminine voice.

Hinata blushed slightly as a very beautiful man replaced the shoe on her foot.

"You must be going somewhere special to have to wear these," the young man murmured as he looked at Hinata.

Hinata's blush deepend. 'He's gorgeous! He _is_ a guy, right?' she wondered. The statement sunk in and she nodded, stuttering, "I-I am. M-my cousin is g-getting m-married today. I overslept an-and was left behind..." she trailed off, looking away. She was always getting in her family's way. Her father told her so constantly, and Neji always agreed.

"Such a cute girl as yourself ought to have an escort," Haku said with a small smile for Hinata. 'Zabuza will understand,' he thought to himself.

Hinata blushed and stuttered her thanks, which Haku waved away. He offered Hinata his hand and Hinata hesitantly took it.

"Which way?" Haku asked softly.

Hinata pointed in the general direction of the road and Haku smiled kindly. The two walked together in silence, Hinata feeling as if her heartbeat would be audible to Haku.

"U-umm...what is your name?" Hinata asked hesitantly, softly.

Haku blinked, mildly surprised, and then smiled. "I am Haku."

"That's a pretty name," Hinata murmured softly.

"You are?"

"H-hinata," Hinata stuttered shyly.

"It suits you," Haku said kindly.

The two talked at infrequent intervals, enjoying the silence and simple presence of the other more than anything else. The pair reached the town Hinata was headed to by mid-afternoon, and Hinata released her hold on Haku's hand.

"I-I can't thank you enough..." she said softly.

Haku smiled and nodded. "It was my pleasure. I do not often get to travel with such gentle company."

Hinata blushed, then bowed low, before turning and walking slowly, carefully, into the town, towards the hall where the wedding was to take place, wondering if she had missed the ceremony.

Haku smiled slightly, sadly as he watched her go. He sighed and then focused on where he had left Zabuza. He performed the appropriate hand-seals and disappeared in a puff of smoke. He had been truthful when he said it was nice to travel in gentle company, for if there was one thing Zabuza was not, it was gentle.

Author: I hope you approve. I apologize if it was not what you were thinking, but I did my best. Please ignore any grammar mistakes or OOC-ness. Thank you for requesting!


	8. JiraiyaSakura

Jiraiya/Sakura

The men always talked about it; hell, they never shut up. They read it and compared how many positions they knew, or if they could make a woman orgasm like that. Sakura didn't understand the fascination, but she was a woman, and the sexes tended to not see eye-to-eye on the subject of porn.

Still, she was curious.

During a lunch break from her shift at the hospital, she saw an Icha Icha Tactics lying innocently on an end table. She walked over, onigiri in hand, and picked it up. She read the page that it was opened to an cocked an eyebrow. Really, _this_ was what the fuss was over?

She read and ate absently. Gods, it was atrocious. She snapped the book shut, wiped stray grains of rice from around her mouth, confiscated the book, and shoved it into her own bag. She would have a word with Naruto's mentor as soon as her day was through.

---

Sakura walked into the bar and scanned it with eyes trained to pick up the smallest of details; however, it was not difficult to see the white-haired sannin surrounded by busty, beautiful women. If she had missed his apperance, she would have definitly have heard his laugh; it echoed through the bar, after all.

'Alcohol,' Sakura thought with mild distaste. But that was not the reason for her being here.

Sakura walked up to the sannin's table and threw the Icha Icha onto the table in front of him.

"You're the author, right?" she asked.

Jiraiya blinked at her, then looked at the table where the book lay. A lewd grin spread across his face, and he proclaimed proudly, "Yes, I write it."

"You're an awful writer."

Jiraiya was about to agree when he did a double take. "Wait. What?"

"Your writing is awful, and not because of the subject matter. Guys need to soothe their urges _somehow_." Sakura placed her hands on her hips. "You grammar is on par with an elementary school student's, your sentence structure and flow of your stories suck more than the women in your 'novels', and you really don't know how a woman will react, do you?"She accused.

Jiraiya stared at her, open-mouthed. He frowned, then growled, "What right do you have to say that? It sells well enough."

"Ah, but it could sell better. For example," Sakura picked up the book, "this is what you write."

She unabashedly read an excerpt which left the women around Jiraiya blushing and giggling, and Jiraiya looking satisfied.

"Good, isn't it?"

"No. _This_ is how good," Sakura said and re-read the passage with corrections she had made.

The women blushed even more and Jiraiya merely stared. Once Sakura was finished reading she snapped the book shut and gave Jiraya a "Well?" look.

"You changed almost nothing...why did it sound..."

"Better? Because I know the difference between a regular story and a well-written one." Sakura paused in thought, then said, "I'll make you an offer."

Jiraiya looked skeptical. "What?"

"You write the stories. Just send them to me when you're finished with them so I can edit. I will do nothing to really change the story; I won't steal characters, or ideas, or other nonsense; why would I want to? I don't even like the series. Then compare how well your sales do. If they did better before I edited, fine, don't send them to me. If they do better, though..."

Jiraiya frowned and thought. The women around him cajoled him and teased him into deciding to let Sakura try. Sakura smiled and bowed a farewell.

---

The next morning she found a manuscript in her mailbox with instructions on where to send it when she was done editing and an offer to give her 25 of the sales if all went well. Sakura smiled and tucked the papers into her bag and headed into the hospital; now she had something to do during her breaks.

-The End-

Author: Hope you liked it. I did my best, and apologize for any errors in character, grammar, or otherwise, and if it was not what you were looking for. It was a challenge, and thank you for requesting!


	9. Naruto?

"I thought you were joking!"

"Do I look like the kind who would joke?"

There was a pause that spoke volumes.

"Okay, OKAY! So I do joke a lot. But I'm not joking about this one."

"Naruto, there's no way that makes sense, in _any_ form of the word. Come on! That's just kind of...oh, I don't know."

"Sick, twisted, gross, unnatural...those are the things _I've_ heard while people thought I wasn't listening."

"Well, I mean...it is kind of...weird."

"I don't care! It's not like it lowers people's opinion of me _anyway_! I'm still the 'Kyuubi brat'. I'm the one who's going to suddenly snap and level the village, because, after all, after sixteen fucking years of being in control it's going to suddenly evaporate into thin air! Gods!"

Sakura gave the sky a long-suffering look and sighed. "Naruto, calm down. You have to think through this rationally."

"No! This is...this is...beyond rationality! Anyone can see that."

"It's probably just hormones."

Naruto growled and folded his arms over his chest, looking sullen, injured, and angry. "Hormones."

"You're a _teenage boy_, Naruto. Right now you're more governed by your cock than by your brain. There's that saying..."

"What saying?"

"The gods gave men two things to think with but only enough blood to use one at a time."

Naruto snorted and gave Sakura a half-hearted glare. He sighed and looked at the ground after a long pause.

"Maybe you're right. But...it's...well, how I feel. Sure, it might change, but right now...he's my most important person, and I will protect him and help him no matter what."

Sakura sighed and ran a hand through her hair, then gave Naruto a long look. The awkward pause hung between them for a moment more before Sakura walked over and gave Naruto a hesitant hug.

"Fine. Just...be careful. Even though you can be dumb and annoying, I still care for you like a brother. We have, after all, been through a lot together."

A soft smile crossed Naruto's face, and he gently hugged Sakura back. "I'll try."

Sakura pulled away and gave him a mock angry stare. "But if you do anything dumb, I won't forgive you! You'll have to face the wrath of Haruno Sakura!"

With that, they both laughed, and peace was made, even though Sakura still wanted to pummel Naruto into the ground for being dumb and following his body's urges rather than thinking out the consequences.

Author: Since this is the crack pairings community, I'll let you decide the pairing. . Thank you for requesting a fic with this prompt, it was interesting to write. I apologize for any grammar mistakes and OOC-ness.


	10. DeidaraTenten

Deidara/Tenten

Tenten had never understood why Shikamaru enjoyed watching the clouds until now. She laid next to the redeemed Akatsuki member that she was given charge over for the day, and let the wind blow through her unbound hair, mingling it with the blonde locks of the once-missing nin.

"What do you see in that cloud, Deidara-san?" Tenten asked idly.

"It looks like a kunai, un," Deidara replied lazily.

Tenten smiled faintly. "Does everything look like a weapon to you?"

"Mostly, un. Should the clouds look like other things?" Deidara asked, curious.

"Well, I think that one over there looks like a rabbit," Tenten answered.

Tenten could feel the frown that crossed Deidara's face and chuckled. "You're still not used to peace, are you?"

"It is...different, un. I spent so much time hiding and fighting that it's difficult to adjust to, un," Deidara answered.

"I see," Tenten replied.

Silence fell between the two of them, and Tenten closed her eyes to the sun. Cloud-watching and lazing in the fields was a wonderful way of wasting time.


End file.
